The repercussions of long discussions can be deep and wide and troubling. For strong protection try misdirection. Perhaps mention tripling or bubbling. 8/1/02010 Did you notice the "misdirection"? If you were paying attention, you were likely waiting for a rhyme with "troubling" and the setup word of "tripling" should have led you to expect "doubling". But then I threw in "bubbling" instead. Okay, so it's gimmicky. What do you want? I'm providing these free of charge.

If I start to pant but I'm still unable to breathe and my skin breaks out in hives, please don't — you can't — I don't want you to leave or force feed my sour cream and chives. 7/31/02010 I don't remember composing this one, but it sure seems like it was strictly an exercise in rhyme.

Once I am dead I won't need a bed. For I won't do any more sleeping. Nor will I require any fancy attire or alarm clock to wake me with beeping. 7/30/02010

If you desire to someday retire I hope we can succeed. You inspire me to aspire to fulfill your every need. 7/29/02010

Think I'll make it in the nick of time! Brother, can you spare a dime? 7/28/02010 This was me trying to squeeze a poem in by midnight. Terrible, terrible, terrible!

Sometimes I feel like a bird on the wing and sometimes I feel quite small. Sometimes you love me early in spring and sometimes late in the fall. 7/27/02010

Pretty much all that matters to me matters because of you. I'm going to love you the rest of my life even if you become a Jew. 7/27/02010 As I've probably mentioned, my darling wife is in the process of converting to Judaism. This is not my favorite idea ever. Such is life.

I feel terrible. I feel awful. I wasted a day of our life. I wish I could take it back and redo it and show you I love you, my wife. 7/27/02010 This was written after some horrible and pointless argument and misunderstanding.

When you kiss me you give my heart wings. When you hug me you set my heart free. I'll never get tired of feeling these things. I cherish what you do to me. 7/25/02010 Another in a long line of gushy love poems.

I've listened to their arguments and still I'm not persuaded. For when it's time to make their point, the truth's always evaded. 7/24/02010 This one is paired thematically with the previous one.

I've listened to their arguments and found them unconvincing. The "logic" they use tends to induce wincing. 7/23/02010 This one was inspired by religionistas pushing their fairy tales as if they represent reality.

A pizza pie is nice and so's a bowl of rice. Sometimes it's quite funny when your eggs are runny. 7/22/02010 No deep meaning here. This was simply an exercise in rhyme.

I love when you call me Dammit. It reminds me of how much you care. But I wonder whether you'd call me that if I danced more like Fred Astaire. 7/21/02010 Dammit is one of my darling wife's nicknames for me. In case you were wondering.

For my birthday, I don't need a fish. I want you to love me. That's my only wish. 7/20/02010 My birthday was fast approaching and my darling wife was probably asking what I wanted.

I've loved you for miles. I've loved you for years. I've loved you through smiles and I've loved you through tears. 7/19/02010

Thanks for not squirting my eyes with a lime or another citrus fruit. Thanks for loving me all of the time and for giving me kisses to boot. 7/18/02010 A gushy love poem.

If the weather's warm enough, surely we will melt. So far it's never happened yet; that's just how we've felt. 7/17/02010 This must've been written on a very warm day.

Invading skunks, cops are drunks. What's going on in this town? Pumpkin trees and your knobby knees to chase away my frown. 7/17/02010 The first stanza involves us having come home to discover three pair of skunks waddling around on our lawn. It also involves a report we heard about a cop in our town being disciplined for drunk driving. The second involves my experiment in growing pumpkins from seeds. The mention of my darling wife's knobby knees is an allusion to her having lost an amazing amount of weight.

Uninteresting, boring, dull as can be. That's my entry in the dictionary. Thrilling, exciting, extraordinary. That one's yours. Don't know why you chose me. 7/17/02010 Here's a bit of my old self-deprecation creeping its way in.

The twinkling of stars, the glow of the moon are dim next to you in my sight. I likely won't see you till well after dark. That's why I long for the night. 7/16/02010 I must've been in the middle of a workday that I expected to go much longer than I hoped.